hello everyone, please excuse my absence over the last few days, i’ve been suffering through a gnarly cold. oy. in fact, i thought of writing everyday, made notes about it, but just couldn’t bring my stuffy fevered head to the computer. and i must admit, i was in a foul mood and grumping up a bit and not in the mood to be grateful! what’s funny is, i learned something really significant during this time. how i generally practice gratitude is to simply look around, be aware of what’s in my life and select the morsels i most love and talk about them exclusively. it never occured to me to be grateful for things i consider ‘bad’. i always just focus on the best of the best stuff.
first, having this little cold, despite my frustrations, afforded me a bounty of positive things. i was stuck inside and not capable of ‘doing’ much, so i sat down to read. an activity i love but don’t always make time for. my cold gave me the opportunity to read a wonderful book about my latest passion, Kundalini Yoga. what a joy it has been to learn more about this practice even while not capable of practicing it!
second, i realized how much i can take my breath for granted. what an enormous appreciation that wells up when you are experiencing the contrast! it was awful to not be able to breathe freely! all-day discomfort and fitfull sleeping to boot! But, today, with both nostrils clear, i feel very happy! let’s face it, breath is life, and boy oh boy do i feel more alive today with this gift in free-flowing action. thank you thank you thank you. i want to suck in all the air around me now. and you know what, there’s an infinite supply. and it’s free! yippee!
and finally, a major revelation came while reading this wonderful Kundalini book*. in one chapter the author discusses how the principles and practices of Kundalini changed her perspective during illness. (ha! just what i was needing!) she talks about a time when she fell down some stairs and broke two ribs. during her recovery she experienced intense pain, even with medication. so, she decided to ‘practice what she preaches’ and use some of the Kundalini technology she had learned. so, each time she felt a twinge of pain rising, she would say out loud or silently, “Thank you God, I accept your wonderful gift of pain.” and the pain would ease up immediately!!!
here is an excerpt from the passage that followed this story;
“Gratefully accepting everything that comes to us as a gift of God invokes a remarkably dynamic response from God. An ‘attitude of gratitude’ invites and allows the power of God to work faster and easier to bless and heal us. Try it for yourself. Whenever anything happens- good, bad, pleasant, unpleasant, desirable, undesirable- see it as something that God is doing. Then verbally express and affirm your gratitude. See what happens.”
to me, this was a miracle on a page. couldn’t have said it better myself. we are so in the habit of labeling things as good or bad, categorizing and placing items on shelves. this goes on good shelf, i can be grateful for that, this is bad, let’s stick it in the corner! when you realize that everything in existence comes from one source, the source with many names most often called, God**, then it becomes easy (and greatly beneficial!) to see everything around you, no matter what it is as the work of God and therefore good, as it should be and worthy of praise. i did conduct this experiment myself with instant and wonderful results! i said, “thank you god, i accept your wonderful gift of illness.” and as easy as pie all my negative emotion and frustration was instantly replaced by a broader understanding and much laughter!
so, in the end, i am so happy and grateful to have gotten this cold! it is what it is. i am what i am. all is well. some of the other gifts my cold gave me: down time, much needed rest, time to contemplate, an opportunity to surrender and receive from others, a provokation for better self-care, i.e. amending diet to include more nourishing foods, soaking in a hot tub, curling up with empathic kitties, and much more.
today, i am on fire i am so grateful, i feel like the grateful phoenix, rising from the ashes of grumpydom and reemerging as aware and thankful as can be. today, i will list everything present in my life at this moment, without labels, no matter what it is. i challenge anyone interested out there to do the same. and anytime you are feeling awful or are in a real pinch, try being grateful for that same debaucle and notice how quickly it dissolves. life is miraculous when we let go of resistance and give praise to all.
thank you…
1 for the peeling paint on my bedroom doorframe.
2 for the spider living above the bathroom medicine cabinet
3 for not working this week even though i wanted to
4 for insecurity and confusion which i think are part of transitioning to something new and wonderful
5 for both the grace and challenges of marriage
6 for the air that i breathe!
7 for my car that lurches everytime i stick it in reverse.
8 for thanksgiving, the best holiday ever
9 for neil not being around much lately, which creates an opportunity to miss him
10 for both my parents alive and well
11 for my messy room filled with stacks of books and art supplies and piles of clothes, a scene of abundance!
12 for the feeling of ‘not knowing’ for the mystery
13 for clean sheets
14 for the challenges of creating food that satisfies the tongue and nourishes the soul
15 for cats liking to sit in boxes and paper bag forts
16 for a wildly entertaining episode of Survivor last night
17 for all the pain i have experienced in life, the other side of which was tremendous pleasure
18 for all the illnesses i have experienced in life, which created an opportunity for me to be the hero of my own life, which led me to the joyful practices that helped me to dissolve them.
19 for sunny days in the middle of november
20 for the new tradition of planting trees each year at christmas, instead of chopping them down.
21 for the feeling of being cold right now which makes me feel slightly uncomfortable but very alive
22 for garlic, onion and ginger
23 for depression
24 for my eyes, ears, nose, legs, hands
25 for my shitty laptop that runs slow, weighs 500 pounds and whizzes a terrible noise every time you start it
26 for my orchids which have been attacked by tiny slugs
27 for the stacks of laundry on the back of my sofa
28 for my messy kitchen
29 for having a house to get messy!
30 for all the love in the universe which comes in such a variety of forms and can be felt just as strongly emanating from the formless
31 for my deeply sensitive nature
32 for my education even though i’ll be paying for it for the rest of my life!
33 for pajamas and angels meeting me between waking and dreaming
34 for all the miraculous and nightmarish things i have experienced that i cannot fully explain in words. how they shredded the veil of illusion and made me aware of the power of my own mind.
35 for being 35, for getting older and for being happier now than i have ever been, more present, more pliant and getting better each and every day.
36 for all the friends i have ever had. for the joy. also for the pain, which is a great teacher.
37 for all my stupid mistakes
38 for my insatiable appetite for food, for knowledge, for life, for spirit
39 for lip balm
40 for the experience of being kristin, which no one else will ever fully know
thank you my lovelies for reading my blog. i hope it stimulates happiness or awareness or some other yumminess. thank you for your existence!
*the quoted segment above comes from the book, Kundalini Yoga: The Flow of Eternal Power. As taught by Yogi Bhajan, Ph.D, written by: Shakti Parwha Kaur Khalsa. it is a very easy read with cute pictures and loads of insight and inspiration and even some recipes, if anyone fancies looking into it!
**Note: please understand that i use the term God in a very broad, all-inclusive way. i honor and acknowledge that there are infinite ways to experience God, describe God, worship and know God. i have graduated to knowing God after many years of atheism! i personally, do not adhere to any particular religion, but recognize the oneness inherent in all religions. my belief in God (not necessarily a man with a white robe, but rather, an energy within and around us, the essence of all that is) has emerged from direct personal experience. i hope what you read above is valuable to you, regardless of the particular way you experience God, even if, or especially if, it differs from the way I do. the principles of love, kindness, compassion, oneness and gratitude are all pretty universal. this is where i lean, toward the universal. i hope for this blog to be valuable to all, regardless of our individual differences. thank you for your time and interest and i wish you always, peace, love and happiness.
